10 Things I’ve Learned from Three Failed Marriages, Part 4: Be Spontaneous


"I love spontaneity. Like the let's-go-jump-in-the-lake-with-all-our-clothes-on kind of spontaneous. Sometimes you just need to let go." —Lauren and Shane

“I love spontaneity. Like the let’s-go-jump-in-the-lake-with-all-our-clothes-on kind of spontaneous. Sometimes you just need to let go.” —Lauren and Shane

Special thanks to Lauren and Shane for permissions to use their photograph.

Be Spontaneous

This wasn’t initially one of my ten things I’ve learned from three failed marriages because, frankly, it’s a subject I’m not very conversant with, other than intellectually. However, a friend suggested it to me and I agree that this would be a very good thing to have in one’s marriage, even though I have never experienced it to any great degree.

Looking back, I think one of the problems facing married couples, at least in my own marriages, is boredom. This most often translates into watching an inordinate amount of television or immersing oneself in projects that only involve self.

What this is saying is, for instance, “I (we) would rather watch mindless entertainment on television, including sports, than communicate with you (each other). It is more important to me (us) to watch television than it is to enjoy your (each others’) company. I (we) find more enjoyment in being mind-numbed in front of the boob tube than I (we) would, say, playing a game with you (each other) or going out to dinner.” And so forth.
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