10 Things I’ve Learned from Three Failed Marriages, Part 3: Saying I Love You


I Love You Hearts

Saying I Love You

Perhaps the modern-day woman is different than in days past, but I think that most wives never tire of being told, “I love you,” as long as it’s being said with feeling and sincerity. Combine that with an equally sincere hug is even better.

At least once a day. Minimum.

Sincerity goes a long way with women. A casual peck on the cheek and a “Love you” as you go out the door doesn’t hold a lot of weight with most women, I would think. Perhaps some, particularly men, might say, “Well, it’s better than nothing.”

Not necessarily so.

A woman doesn’t like to be taken for granted and such casualness speaks volumes about being taken for granted. Better for a man not to be in such a big hurry in matters having to do with his wife and her emotions.

Never assume your wife knows you love her—therefore, you don’t have to tell her. Rather, assume she needs to be told. It’s kind of like Linus’ security blanket: warm, fuzzy, comfortable, clean, and so forth.

A wife who doesn’t like to be told, “I love you,” especially accompanied by a warm, fuzzy hug, likely has some issues (i.e., emotional baggage) that needs to be worked through. If this isn’t taken care of, it will likely lead to many unpleasantries down the road, perhaps even divorce. Trust me on this.

Remember also, that emotional baggage may have everything to do with you . . . and that, too, will have to be worked out, or else!

From mandyf’s “Why It’s Important to Say ‘I Love You’ ” we learn:

It is important to say I love you because it is reassuring. As humans we all have vulnerabilities, especially when it comes to the way we perceive how others feel about us. The husband that goes days on end without actually hearing those words from his wife may get insecure and vise versa. Not hearing an I love you returned or spontaneously offered can create doubts because it is our natural reaction to let our mind wander and try to find reasons why those words have not been said. Usually the only reasons that are formulated are negative reasons, so saying I love you removes that doubt and reassures a person that everything is okay and there is no need to worry.

As long as it’s meaningful and sincere.

So, don’t ever tire of saying, “I love you,” and meaning it. This alone will reap many rewards all the way down the road.

On the other hand, love isn’t all you need in a relationship, in spite of what the Beatles opined so long ago. Certainly love is a huge part of a relationship, but the little things matter, too.

Little things like holding hands, hugs, hugs, hugs, and a warm, sincere “I love you.” And more to come.

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