10 Things I’ve Learned from Three Failed Marriages, Part 2: Hugs. Hugs. Hugs.

Hugs. Hugs. Hugs.

©2012 Cris Coleman All Rights Reserved

©2012 Cris Coleman All Rights Reserved

A hug is a universal medicine, it is how we handshake from the heart.  —Anonymous

Never underestimate the power of a sincere and well-timed hug, especially when one is 1) not supposedly deserving of it; 2) when one is stressed out; and 3) just any old time.

There’s no question that hugging brings people closer together, and not just physically. Hugging is another way to connect heart-to-heart when done with sincerity and love.

If one acts negatively or with hostility at receiving a hug, then there are other, deeper issues that need to be addressed. These most likely involve a lot of emotional baggage and, quite possibly, sexual or other abuse in childhood and/or in other relationships.

Don’t let hugging go the way of the dinosaurs or your marriage will follow suit in the end, maybe not in actual divorce, but surely in emotional divorce.

“ ‘Hugging Until Relaxed’ is a therapeutic technique that encourages partners to hold each other while in a standing hug. Ultimately, both partners find stability and comfort in the embrace by achieving equilibrium of balance and closeness while holding each other.

This technique, introduced by David Schnarch in Passionate Marriage, allows both partners to open up to a deeply intimate space where both are held and fully relaxed. This technique generally translates into better overall communication and more passionate intimacy.

Opening up to being held is a powerful metaphor. A relaxed and full embrace allows us to feel and connect bodies in a way that literally couples us.” (Wendy Strgar, from Care2 Healthy Living )

There are many benefits to hugging besides those mentioned, some of which I’ve listed below:

Top Ten Benefits of Hugging

by Robin Westen

  1. Costs nothing
  2. Boosts your immune system
  3. Builds self-esteem
  4. Fosters self-acceptance
  5. Alleviates tension
  6. Helps curb appetite
  7. Saves heat
  8. Is portable
  9. Requires no special setting or equipment
  10. Feels great (Robin Westen, ThirdAge)

“Feels great”, especially when unexpected, leads the list, in my opinion. If for no other reason, “feels great” is reason enough for a hug any old time.

While the above photograph isn’t of a husband and wife hugging, it is such a great shot, I just couldn’t resist using it instead. I hope you enjoyed it.

4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Y. Prior
    Feb 07, 2014 @ 03:22:37

    very great post.


    • Cris
      Feb 07, 2014 @ 03:53:52

      Thank you! 🙂
      The photo is of two of my grandkids, the only one taken at the time that actually captured the moment. I’m rather proud of that shot. Brag. Brag. 🙂


  2. Trackback: My 100th Post (with 100 blogger quotes) | PRIORHOUSE blog
  3. IdealisticRebel
    Nov 04, 2014 @ 10:40:17


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